Will Prime Minister Albanese be remembered for going hard on sexist jokes and going soft on gambling advertising? Wally the Chartered Accountant opines.
Prime Minister Albanese’s recent podcast outing with Bushy may have distracted the media from important matters like AUKUS and voices of dissent from Labor Party MPs on the government’s response to the social harms of gambling, but at what cost?
According to Antoinette Lattouf and Jan Fran on Ette Media, Albanese’s Kylie Minogue answer to shag, marry or date received 835 media mentions across all the usual outlets over the three days starting on 6 July 2026. Prime Minister Albanese ought to know better than to play a hypothetical game of shag, marry or date.
His single mother might have been even less impressed than his political adversaries online who are now in their
third week of pearl clutching after the story was reheated by ‘Melongate’.
Yes, another minor grab from the very same interview which centred on the motions of the PM’s upper limbs when discussing the melons given to him by Japanese PM Sanae Takaichi.
You lose some, you win more?
Another avalanche of mainstream media mentions, social media frenzy and ongoing distraction from genuine policy debate.
It was all a bit 1970s Benny Hill. But perhaps, after all, it was a case of ‘you lose some, you win more’. It was the case, definitely for the gambling lobby and the Big Media mates who profit from the ads.
Such ‘highly newsworthy’ events naturally eclipsed minor stories such as wars, the AUKUS debacle and the government’s abject failure to implement the eminently sensible recommendations of the Murphy Report into gambling advertising.
Who could ever forget Recommendation 26 of the Murphy Report from a House of Representatives Committee on Social Policy dated June 2023? The Government, it seems.
Recommendation 26: The Committee recommends the Australian Government, with the cooperation of the states and territories, implement a comprehensive ban on all forms of advertising for online gambling, to be introduced in four phases, over three years, commencing immediately.
The Murphy Report explained that only a comprehensive ban on advertising for online gambling would work because a limited approach to protecting children from gambling advertising means that the adoption of restrictions in one place or time results in an increase in advertising elsewhere.
Speaking of ignorance, Prime Minister Albanese and his senior leadership team would do well to reflect on the specific words used in the Murphy Report in relation to online gambling advertising:
“comprehensive ban” and “protecting children”.
Waiting for Godot, sorry, Murphy
Prime Minister Albanese and his senior leadership team waited 1049 days, or 2.9 years, to respond to Recommendation 26 of the Murphy Report and they released their response on the day of the Australian Federal Budget for 2026-27.
Straight out of the playbook of Media Crisis Management 101: dump the bad news, or garbage, out on a busy news day when people are distracted by other events.
Well done Albo’s media ops team!
And the Albanese government’s response to the Murphy report is garbage. It is an each-way bet or daily double on harming children and online gambling company profits. No wonder they waited 1049 days to release its three key features, which are as follows:
(1) No wagering advertisements on the radio during school drop-off (8.00 to 9.00am) and pick up times (3.00 to 4.00pm).
Big deal! How many kids listen to the car radio on the way to and from school Albo? That’s what you don’t know,
how many children listen to the car radio?
(2) Only three wagering advertisements per hour per broadcast channel between 6.00am and 8.30pm.
Big deal! How many children watch television after 8.30pm Albo?
That’s what you don’t know, how many children after 8.30pm watch a television show? Luckily for Nine Entertainment, it has 12 twelve television channels. So, Nine Entertainment is limited to 522 television wagering advertisements per day between the hours of 6.00am and 8.30pm [12 ch. x 14.5 hrs x 3].
Just the 522 gambling ads. Heaven forbid!
This means Nine Entertainment is limited to 190,530 television wagering advertisements per year between the hours of 6.00am and 8.30pm [365 x 522].
Big deal! What an enormous annual cap you’ve put on those wagering advertisements Albo. Why bother unless you are just after some optics?
(3) Wagering advertising on online platforms will be allowed where users are logged in, are 18 years or older, and have NOT opted out of receiving the advertising.
Big deal! Slide open your parent’s apps kids and walk straight through to find out why
gambling with your mates is cool and normal.
Gambling ads, like elusive government reforms, it seems are still cool and normal.
On 2 July 2026, an article appeared on ABC News online entitled Influencers to be targeted in Albanese government’s gambling advertising crackdown. The article included comments from two Federal Labor MPs who were pushing for further government action on gambling.
Labor MP Mike Freelander, who is a paediatrician, is quoted as follows: “It’s very good that we are at least recognising that there is a problem and that we are starting the process of reforming advertising and improving some of the controls, but there is much more that needs to be done,”
“Starting the process Mike”? That might prove optimistic given what we know about the power of the gambling lobby to
whip politicians around like a horse at the track.
Labor MP Louise Miller Frost who was on the committee responsible for the Murphy Report is quoted as follows: “I think there’s a lot of us that think it is unfinished business. Advertising is certainly a part of it, but I would like to see the federal regulator, and I would like to see the ban on incentives.”
Alas Melongate
Alas, any momentum which might have been gathering in the party ranks for a mite more in the way of reform was stubbed out like a ciggie in the Designated Outdoor Smoking Area at the pub during Race 6 at Doomben.
In another moment of joy for Albo’s media ops team, the contrarian views of these two Labor politicians faded into the background at 6am on April 3, 2026 when Bushy’s podcast with Prime Minister Albanese was co-released by Nova Entertainment and news.com.au.
Who do you want to shag Albo? Hahaha. Melons Albo melons. Were they big ones? Hahahahaha.
The Labor Party appears unable to resist the financial incentives that flow to them from poker machines running until 4am and online gambling companies advertising to children for gambling addicts growth.
One can only wonder if cigarette manufacturers would still have their product in front of children on television today if they had offered better monetary compensation to the Labor Party and the Trade Union movement.
The Labor Party has failed to take the matter of protecting children from online gambling advertising seriously. If you believe in protecting children from online gambling advertising, then don’t vote Labor.
As for the Party coffers, and the affections of Big Media, it seems Melongate was a great distraction and may have been a case of ‘you lose some, you win more’.
Wally the Chartered Accountant (not his real name) is a veteran of the accounting profession who is concerned about dishonesty and falling professional standards. Wally's true identity is known to MWM.